Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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