Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
