At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
