I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
