i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
whose parrot is this?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
