May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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