Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I am midnight drunk by noon
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
