is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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