you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
