You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
