You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
