I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
