did you get engaged???
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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