He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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