butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
