Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
