Christians are straight up FREAKS
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
