I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
