I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
