Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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