My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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