He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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