your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
