i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
