He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
