Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
