That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
