Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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