is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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