i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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