Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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