quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
