Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
