I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
