just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
