TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
