Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
