Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
