I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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