Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
