I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
