Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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