Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
