this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
