ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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