Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
