maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
