White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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