He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just want to make out with him forever
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
