So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
