After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
