3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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